exercise cals

after weeks of losing no weight(and even putting on) i have now got it in my thick skull that i need to eat my exercise calories. I posted on wlr last night re the starvation mode and everybody who replied said EAT YOUR EXERCISE CALORIES! i guess i have been scared of eating them cos im scared il put on weight.Iv gone from bingeing to eat 1000s of cals in 1 sitting to not eating my exercise cals, its very irrational thinking,i have however started from today to eat my exercise cals.i havent lost any weight so now i need to re think and re start.I aiming to eating half of the cals.
i woke up today and went to the gym, i was really tired and didnt want to go, i forced myself and ending up spending 15 mins there! i started doing my weights program but was putting in no effort so i just came home. I havent done this for 2 years where i have come home but i couldnt be bothered. I live only 2 mins way from the gym. I have had 4 sessions at the gym this week anyway,I will have a day off tomorrow and then i will be back to normal on monday, i know it was just a small blip.
food has been good,
B=shredded wheat with skimmed milk
L=rye bread with chicken and cucumber
D=not sure

i had a S&*t day yesterday, i had a works event in the afternoon and tried on my size 10 trousers. I couldnt even do them up, i was so shocked and upset but was a real wake up call as to why i need to lose my weight, i never want to feel like that again.thats why i will do anything to lose my weight, even eat my exercise calories!
my hula hooping is going good, i can do a few tricks now, i wore my hrm the other day and burnt 489 cals in just 50 mins. I love it!!!!!!!!!

i am getting lazy with my blog, sorry! I have been going over my cals most days but this is down to me not planning my food and eating shit.the main thing is that i have not been binging, hurrah! i have been feeling really down today,i feel fat and have lost no weight in the last few days, i thought i would now that i have my ed under control but i havent. I exercise 5 times a week and eat 1250 cals, i really dont know where i am going wrong. i sometime wonder if im the only person in the world who cant lose weight. i dont want to use the excuse that its cos im 5ft that its harder for me as other people my height can lose weight and do. I know that just losing 7lbs will make such a differnce to me. work has been ok today,i have 1 more day before i am off for 4 days. my hula hooping is going good and i can now do a booty bump. i finished work and went my mums and ended up having a mini argument with her over personal family stuff, people are so selfish!i ended up walking out and was crying in my car. i feel real rubbish now and fat. i will have to start reading the e version of tom venuto and maybe try his plan for a few weeks. my weight makes me so miserable. and it has such a negative impact on all aspects of my life,iv lost my confidence and i hate,i just want to how i was.

ps sorry for the negative post

sorry

I have not posted for a week, its very lazy of me i know.I have been at work all week but am now on my days off.My food had been good even though i went alton towers on friday and ate an ice cream(lovely) and a chicken baguette for lunch that made me sooooooo sleepy that i needed a power nap.
The main thing to report is that I still HAVENT binged. I cant believe it, its mad. I am just totally normalish around food. I have lost 1kg in the last 2 weeks so my weight is coming off slowly, so very pleased about that.
I am now obsessed with hula hooping! i can move with my hoop now and can hoop with it around my neck. I love it!
I have had a pt session today and doing 300. This is a workout where you have to to 300 reps, eg squats, press ups, sit ups, anything really but in total it needs to add up to 300.it nearly killed me,

today i have ate:
B=porridge with skimmed milk
L=baked sweet potoato, cottage cheese and salad.

I have seen a recipe on edna buckets blog with cod and spaghetti so i will try that tonight, going to the theatre to watch dinner ladies tonight so will take a planned treat with me for the internal(i can see me raiding the man who walks about with ice cream if i dont)
I managed to buy a lara bar from my sainburys the other day. It was ginger snap, it was a bit too strong for me.Think I will stick to my trusted nakd bars. Them lara bars were also £1.47 each so not cheap.
I am going to manchester tomorrow shopping, I have a free mini facial booked in at ren at harvey nicholls, they do lovely natural beauty care. Cant wait. My pt has suggested that i have a day where i eat 1000 on top of my daily allowance once a week. Tomorrow is that day.Im so excited!!! 2200 calories, its a luxury

OMG!

I tried my new cocoa orange nakd bar today, it was like chewy terrys chocolate orange but without the rubbish in. I was so pleased with my nakd deliveries as i only ordered them yesterday. I have not been up to much today except going to the gym. I have just lazed around the house. I have just bought some promax crisp bars as they are on offer on thier site. Its buy 1 get 1 free. I said its buy one, get 1 free(sad i know) . I have bought 24 bars for £11.83 and they ave 84 cals with 6g protein.Today i have ate:

B=podge with skimmed milk
s=babybel
L-granary stick with philadelphia and salad, apple
S=naked and options capaccino
S=2 x qourn mini sausage rolls(i need to finish these bloddy things,I should never have bought them)
Dinner will be chicken, I did buy some salmon but to be honest its too fishy for me and makes me gag.

Last night i went for a meal at a turkish place, it was lovely/ I had grilled lamb with a flatbread and about 5 chips. It was lovely.
I am still not binging(hurrah) I must count the total number of days I have not binged for and will treat myself to summat non foodie when i get to 100 days

went hula hoopin today and it was so much fun! i burnt 300 cals in 30 mins. I loved it and will definately go again. We had loadsa stares from people using the gym as we were in an empty studio but i didnt care. I am actually quite good at it.(sorry to be bigheaded)
I ramg natural balance today and ordered the nakd new flavours trial pack. They were so helpful on the phone and have gave me 2 free trek flapjacks cos i asked what they were like. how nice.
food has been ok today:
B=Protein pancakes
L= 2 egg omelate with 100g egg whites, 30g pasta, salad
S= 2 finn crisp with philadephia and 1 x quorn sausage roll(mini)

Going out for my meal tonight but have loads of calories left.Had my hair done today, my roots were proper showing.

In a rush so will post again later

Sorry....

I have not posted on here for ages. My internet was broke and I had to get it fixed.I am now off work for 4 days(hurrah) and go back on monday. When I was last on here, It was a day before my final NLP session. It went really well.Its a real long drive to leeds but worth it. I have not binged!!!!!!! Its mad. The thought of binges dont even cross my mind even more. I even had a bit of utterly butterly on my bread the other day instead of my extra light flora and it wasnt the end of the world nor did it trigger a binge.
Its made sucha differnce to my life not binging. It was so tiring, mentally and physically.
Anyway.....tomorrow I am going hula hooping. Im so excited. I have just ordered my hula hoop online but will use my borrowed one tomorrow.Today I went thai boxing and burnt 480 calories.

Today I have ate:
B=Porridge with skimmed milk
S=Babybel
L=30g wholewheat pasta and 2 eggs and salad, options capacinno
S=1 Qourn mini sausage roll(i went shopping and could resist them), 2 finn crisp and philadephia lite
D=Grassingtons vegy bake with carrots, peas, and brocolli

I really need to shift some weight. Anyway I will post tomorrow and let yiu know how my hula hooping went!

Back to sunny england

Got back yesterday from turkey.It was fab and red hot. We stayed at a lovely hotel and they even upgraded us to a suite.I weighed myself today and have ot put any weight on.I cant believe it cos i ate loads. I had wait for it SIX KEBABS while i was there but it is all grilled meat. Its the first holiday i had where i have not binged and gone mad. I did eat loads and overindulged but stayed in control. I did have 2 blips where i over indulged and then threw up, not good but was able to pick myself back up again.
I have my last 2 NLP sessions tomorrow so fingers crossed. I have not binged since my first session in early september. I never thought I would be free of it but I am and it feels so good.
Today I went to the gym and saw some women hula hooping in the empty studio.It looks fab and I asked if I could join them next week. I had a little go and I wasnt too bad. I will be buying a hula hoop from hula hoop dance company, im so excited. I had a pt session today and burnt 488 cals.Today my eating is back to normal and i have ate/;
B=Porridge
S=apple and babaybel lite
L=2 egg frittata and 30g pasta and salad
S=options Latte and pineapple and grapes
S=1 x finn crisp and laughing cow triangle
D-Chicken and spanish rice
S=Melon and Green and Blacks

I really need to plan my meals even more and plan for 6 instead of 4 snacks.I really want to have a clean diet